Sitting here,
On the balcony,
Of my beautiful house in the mountains,
I look out and see life passing by
I see cars driving on the roads,
Each with a different speed and color
I see kids playing basket ball
With their round, half blown orange ball
I see people entering shops
Then others leaving with bags in their hands
I see a mom, a dad, two daughters, and two sons
Riding on bikes, giggling along the way
And I see my whole family
Surrounding me,
Supporting me,
Allowing life to pass gracefully
For me to grow and experience.
3 comments:
First of all, I really enjoyed reading your poem. :D
I liked the way the poem seemed to progress as the line size increased, providing an intersting structure. The way I interpreted it was as an extended metaphor of life, one I was really was able to relate to. It is as if the speaker is observing life as it passes before their eyes; this can be regarded as a negative, indifferent message conveyed, yet the tone and atmosphere of the poem provides a more positive connotation. The last few lines support this mood, it changed my interpretation to a person going through life with the support of their loved ones. It was a rather warming poem, yet the mood was not very consistent throughout. Overall loved it! Great Job Bebo!!
Very interesting point melda! I never would have noticed the phenomenon of the progression as line size increased! Beyhan, loved you simple style which makes the poem easy to understand, yet has depth in meaning. Also, you style gives the reader a crystal clear image of the scene before them. I enjoyed it for the reason that it is down to earth allowing me to be able to relate to it, as melda mentioned. There's no love like that of a family. Words such as "supporting", "grow", "gracefully"...etc give the poem a positive atmosphere. I found the poem a bit direct though. I should know, my poem also doesn't contain enough imagery.
As you described the beautiful scenery around you, I could almost see the view unraveling in front of me as your description was done so vividly. The emphasis on colors clearly is a bonus to the quality of your work. My interpretation is that your family, around whom you feel secure: “surrounding me, supporting me”, is all you need to feel content. You describe the hustle and bustle of everyday life as you sit in your quiet house to point out that you are satisfied being around those few, important people. There’s a sense of peacefulness that you try to convey to the reader which makes your work pleasant to read.
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